Equidistant
by Artemis Day
Summary: Five years after the defeat of Thanos, Jane and Loki have settled into a peaceful life and started a family. When Jane is in a terrible accident, Loki will do whatever it takes to bring back the woman he loves, but is everything truly as it seems?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** **New fic I've been working on, and a short one. Only five chapters long. It'll be a bit different from my other Lokane fics and you'll see what I mean by that later.**

 **Please note there will be some spoilers for Ragnarok in the coming chapters.**

 **Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

The phone rang once before Loki picked it up. The jingly bubblegum pop Darcy set as his ringtone made his ears bleed and until she gave up the knowledge of how to change it, Loki's options were to keep the accursed thing shut off or as close within reach as possible.

Jane's picture, emblazoned on the screen above her name, was a candid shot of her in the lab, her natural habitat. He'd taken it a month ago while she was chatting over video with Stark about reprogramming her bridge for a company trip to Vanaheim. At the same time, she busied herself resoldering the outer plate of her remote transmitter. She still had bedhead and there was a spot of soot on her cheek. It was so perfectly 'Jane' he couldn't not immortalize the moment.

He'd love to gaze upon her image for want of the real thing, but then there was that blasted song again. He unlocked the phone to silence it and was immediately hit with a burst of feedback. Loki held the phone away from his ear, waiting for the white noise to cease. When it did, computerized voice commands and whirring drills took its place. Apparently, they had thirty minutes left until the downloads were complete. A good thing to know.

"I take it all is going well for you, love?" He leaned on the counter, crossing one leg over the other to get comfortable.

"It will be once I get this stupid program to work," Jane muttered. She was typing again, and if he paid attention he knew exactly which keys she was hitting. He grimaced; if she used those codes, her computer would never cooperate.

"Have you tried resetting it?"

"Twice." More typing, followed by a curse. "Anyway, how's your day been?"

Loki hummed. "It just so happens I've found myself in the company of a rather lovely young woman."

"Oh have you?" she said wryly.

"Yes, we've spent many hours together since your departure." Loki glanced into Christina's bedroom. Her door was wide open and she was on her bed, surrounded by stuffed animals and crayon drawings. Her favorite pony doll danced up and down, led by the invisible waves of her magic. "I'm sure you'd agree she's quite a sight."

"Well, now I feel threatened," Jane said. "Mind if I talk to her?"

"If you're brave enough." With barely a thought, Loki plucked the doll out of the air and lowered it to the ground. Christina's magic bounced harmlessly off his as she attempted to wrest control from him. "Your mother's on the phone."

Her face lit up. "Mommy!" She bounded across the living room, leaping onto the couch and snatching the proffered phone. "Hi, Mommy!"

"Hi sweetie," Loki heard Jane say. It wasn't that he wanted to listen in, but with his hearing it was unavoidable. "I've missed you so much."

"I miss you, too," said Christina. "When are you coming home?"

"Soon, baby. Uncle Tony and I are almost done here and then I'll be on the plane. Have you been on your best behavior for Daddy?"

"Uh-huh," Christina nodded.

"And has Daddy been on his best behavior?"

"Um…"

Loki took the phone back, tickling Christina when she tried to protest. As she collapsed in giggles, Loki waited for Jane to finish yelling at Stark for whatever boneheaded thing he'd done now to slow them down.

"Jane, are you sure you don't need me there?" he asked, careful to let only a hint of concern leak into his voice. "I only ask because while a functioning bridge should be child's play, Midgardians other than yourself are understandably slow."

"For a second there, I thought you were complimenting me," she quipped. "So close and yet so far."

"Only for you," he said, smiling once before the mirth faded. "Regardless, it would take me little effort to get there. I can have Darcy over to look after Christina."

"I thought you wouldn't trust Darcy with a gnat, much less our daughter."

"Perhaps she is slightly more responsible than I gave her credit for."

"Everything is fine," Jane said firmly. "Tony's with me and Captain Rogers is here. I'm completely safe. I'm going to get this program working, we're going to get the bridge upgraded, and I'll be on the red eye before midnight."

"So you've said," Loki sighed. "Regardless, I shall keep up my vigil until you are once more in my arms."

"Aww, listen to you, all romantic." Jane chuckled. She went silent for a moment, and for once, there was no discernable reason why. "I love you, Loki."

Loki patted Christina's head as she pressed into his side, the same way her mother did when she felt affectionate. "I love you, too. Tomorrow then."

"Tomorrow," Jane said.

He ended the call, but the phone remained in his hand even as Christina climbed into his lap. She played with a piece of her hair. "I hope Mommy comes back soon. I miss her."

Loki kissed the crown of his daughter's head. "And your mother misses you, but fear not, Angel. Soon she will be home with us again, and all will be well."

"You promise?" Christina looked up at him, her eyes sharing his color but more inquisitive than his had ever been, even at the equivalent of her age. Just another way she was truly Jane's daughter.

He pushed away the inexplicable dread gnawing at his skull, remembering this was not the first time Jane's work had come with risks. All possible scenarios had been accounted for with proper measures taken to ensure safety and success. Jane was not alone and Midgard's heroes had proven themselves worthy warriors in the fight against Thanos. Loki was not so proud (or no longer so proud) to admit the universe would've fallen without them. Compared to that, protecting one woman should be simple. It was simple.

There was nothing to fear.

"I promise."

* * *

The news would report on the accident for weeks to come, and every story was exactly the same.

 _"A series of explosions sent shockwaves through the New Mexico desert earlier today-"_

 _"Dr. Jane Foster-Odinson, Noted Astrophysicist and associate of The Avengers, was on the scene at the time of the incident-"_

 _"We currently have no official death toll-"_

 _"Sources indicate no one was killed but several were injured in the blast-"_

 _"Representatives of Stark Industries and The Avengers have been unavailable for comment-"_

 _"We're just getting word that Dr. Foster was in range of the blast-"_

 _"Surveillance footage shows Captain Rogers carrying Dr. Foster out of the rubble. She is being airlifted to a secure location as we speak-"_

 _"So far, no explanation has been released as to the cause of the explosion-_

 _"Dr. Foster is in our thoughts and we wish her a speedy recovery. We'll keep you updated as the story unfolds here on-"_

* * *

Loki kicked open the double doors leading to the Intensive Care Unit, never breaking stride and paying no mind to the doctors and nurses doing their best to get out of his way. As a former villain and potential world conqueror, there was never a shortage of Midgardians on high alert when he was near. That no one had turned a gun on him yet was thanks to the sleeping child in his arms.

Christina had nodded off on the way over. Pulled out of bed at four in the morning, she'd had strength enough to grab her favorite toy and nod at Loki's hurried explanation that Mommy was hurt. She stirred in his arms as the chaos reached her ears. Loki whispered soothing words, but his voice was strained and he doubted he'd put her at ease.

Nurses wheeled in more injured scientists. Some were bleeding, some had bones sticking out in the wrong direction. Nobody was dead, he'd been told. His Jane was alive somewhere in this building. Scanning the lobby, he saw no one he recognized. Stark and Rogers were either on a gurney or outside containing the media circus. It was nothing but hospital white and doctor blue for miles.

"Daddy, where are we?" she asked, rubbing the sand from her eyes.

"The hospital, angel," Loki answered. "We're here to see your mother."

He searched for an information booth. He found Natasha Romanov barreling towards them. Since the war with Thanos, Loki had reached an understanding with the Black Widow. She'd never forgive him for what he did to her friend (Loki still held that her feelings for Barton were more than platonic), but she'd accepted his change in allegiance gracefully and the two maintained a civil, if not very close, relationship.

"Where is she?" Loki demanded.

There were bags under Natasha's eyes and her makeup was smudged. Her casual dress indicated she'd been dragged out of bed for the occasion. "She was injured in the explosion but I don't know anything else yet."

"Where is my wife?"

"Room 302 is hers, but you have to go alone," Natasha nodded sadly at Christina. She had a soft spot for the girl and her mother. Another level of common ground they shared.

Unfortunately, such respect wouldn't get her far when Loki was already in the worst mood of his life. "I will see her with our daughter at my side, thank you."

"It's a hospital rule," said Natasha. "Kids aren't allowed in the ICU unless they're a patient. She shouldn't even be in this hallway."

"I'd like to see you or anyone else try and stop me," Loki seethed.

Later on, when his mood had improved, he'd commend Agent Romanov for standing her ground. She and her comrades had witnessed his 'interrogation' techniques against Thanos's loyal followers. The way they screamed in agony, slowly driven insane as he dug into their minds and ripped apart their memories, taking what he needed and leaving soulless, drooling husks behind.

"Loki, if it were up to me, you would both be with her right now," she said, "but Jane has a concussion and we don't know what state she'll be in when she wakes up. It's better if Christina doesn't see her until she's stable."

"She will see her now."

"No, she won't." Natasha plucked the girl out of Loki's arms, setting her down and kneeling to her level. "Christina, why don't you come with me while Daddy goes to see Mommy."

"I wanna go, too!"

"I know, honey, and you will, but we have to make sure she's better first." If only she knew how close Loki was to destroying her. Magic built at his fingertips. He could her bones into dust with barely a thought. Then she looked up, eyes narrowed dangerously. "You really want to start a fight in here? After everything?"

Of course, she was right, much as it pained him. Loki gritted his teeth but forced himself to relax. He pulled his magic back, the sparks of green light vanishing. He turned his best approximation of a smile onto his daughter. Judging from her expression, it only made her more scared. "Go with Agent Romanov, angel. I will come for you after I've seen your mother."

Christina puffed out her cheeks, clutching her doll hard enough to take its head off. She was neither a problem child nor a golden child. If she couldn't have her way, she'd understand, but only after arguing until her face turned blue. There was no time to play games today, and they both knew it. She whimpered, but took Natasha's hand and walked to the exit with her.

"Tell mommy I missed her a lot!" she shouted back at Loki. "A whole lot!"

They disappeared through the double doors, but Loki heard them a few seconds longer.

"Why don't you introduce me to your friend, Christina?"

A sniffle. "Her name's Twilight Sparkle and she's the princess of friendship."

"Wow, that's great! Just like you're the princess of Asgard."

"Uh huh… Mommy's a princess, too."

"Yeah, she is."

As their voices faded, Loki followed the numbers on the wall through the two hundred eighties and nineties. Every room he passed was occupied. Some wore casts, others were burnt. All of them had come from the same disaster. Friends and family members sat around them, praying if they were so inclined and talking amongst themselves if they weren't. Several patients locked eyes with him. None spoke. Every injury he saw was worse than the last.

Passed the elevators and another crowded reception area, the only obstacle between him and Jane was a commemorative display honoring the many lives lost to Thanos. Hundreds of photos lined the walls in rows of ten, but they were only a fraction of the true death toll. Most of the names or faces were unknown to him, and he cared little to learn them. It wasn't a matter of apathy, but simply that death was so commonplace in wartime. He was a thousand years old and a seasoned warrior. He'd seen more lives snuffed out than there were people in America. Such was the way of it when fighting for a worthy cause.

At the center of the memorial, one photo stood out. James Buchanan Barnes smiled at Loki's solemn face. He had a handsome visage, his eyes older than his face but bright regardless.

'In Memory of Bucky Barnes: a true hero,' read the plaque. A similar one marked his grave, merely a decorative amenity. There hadn't been much left of Barnes to bury once Thanos was through. He'd taken a hundred members of the mad titan's army with him, monsters who would've killed hundreds more if left unchecked. For that, the dead man earned Loki's respect. A shame he'd never known him.

He found Room 302. A curtain shrouded his Jane and her nurses in shadow. A woman stepped out, carrying a wet washcloth. She was short and squat and her tag bore the name 'Mindy'. Her professional countenance disappeared in the face of Loki's penetrating gaze.

"Oh… hello, Mr. uh… sir," she twiddled her thumbs like a buffoon. Loki could've ripped those thumbs off at the bone.

"How is she?"

She gulped and straightened her back, feigning courage she'd never have. "Dr. Foster is asleep right now. We're not sure yet the extent of the damage. We won't know anything until she wakes up. Until then, she's comfortable-"

"Let me see her." Loki wasn't asking and he wouldn't listen to any more blubbering. He walked through the door- the nurse was smart enough not to block him. He ripped open the curtains and his stomach dropped.

Her face was peaceful. She could've been asleep in their bed at home if not for the gash on her cheek and the bandages on her forehead. Fair skin was blanched white, her hair a mess of knots. Had she always been so small? She couldn't fill that bed if there were three of her. A thin cotton blanket covered her from the shoulders down. They'd dressed her in a hospital gown more hideous than their uniforms. He never thought such a feat was possible, but Midgardians were full of surprises.

The nurse checking Jane's vitals was stronger than her compatriot. Her reaction to Loki's presence was to stand between him and Jane, her arms outstretched as if she had the strength in her tiny mortal body to restrain him. "Mr. Odinson, wait a second."

"Move."

"I need to explain what happened to your wife."

"Move or you will be moved."

"Mr. Odinson, Dr. Foster has a moderate to severe concussion," she shouted over his threats. "She's stable for now but we don't know when she'll wake up. You can stay, but you have to be gentle with her."

Loki closed his eyes and balled his fists. Exhaling through his nose he calmly stepped backward, allowing the nurse to finish her work. She was comfortable enough to do so, barring a glance here and there over her shoulder. Loki briefly considered leaving a few duplicates around the room to make her squirm, but no. Jane wouldn't approve.

A weak moan issued from Jane's parted lips and she turned her head from one side to the other. The nurse was on her before Loki could push her away, bending over her prone form with a hand on her forehead. "Jane? Honey, are you awake? Can you hear me?"

How dare she! She was speaking to Jane as though she were a child. His Jane, the most brilliant woman in this realm… in any realm! Treated like an infant by this insignificant nothing of a mortal...

"Wha…" Jane moaned weakly.

"Jane, you're at the hospital," the nurse said. "Don't try to lift your head, but can you open your eyes?"

"Ha… there was… splosion…"

"You're safe now, Honey. You're going to be okay," the nurse patted Jane's head like a dog. "I've got your husband here. He's been so worried about you."

"Husband…" Jane spoke clearly for the first time. A tiny curvature of her lips and the weight on Loki's heart alleviated. "Hus... "

"Why don't I leave you two alone okay?" She saw herself out with a single nod in Loki's direction.

With that nuisance out of the way, nothing mattered to Loki except Jane. She was not yet fully conscious, so he set to work repairing the damage that fool of a nurse had done to her hair. Jane was not a vain woman, nor did she give more than a passing thought to her appearance, but she never liked anyone else touching her hair. They didn't know how to be careful with the knots, she'd say. Except for Loki, of course. He could run his fingers through those flowing brown locks as much as he pleased.

How had he found such a woman as Jane, he wondered. How had he won her heart when her first interaction with his world was Thor. Certainly women had preferred Loki in the past, but never once had the great thunderer lost a woman to the trickster. Not before Jane.

He found her in a vulnerable state, running through the battlefield with a weapon she and Stark had developed. There she was, this fearless human with no combat skills, dodging fatal blasts by virtue of dumb luck. Loki had followed her, intrigued by the gall of her. Throwing herself into battle, her only concern was that she wouldn't reach Stark in time to hand the device off.

Fortunately for her, Ironman met them halfway. He rolled his eyes as though he was in any position to judge someone else's life choices and ordered (yes, ordered) Loki to 'get her the hell out of here'. Loki was so amused that he happily complied, carrying her bridal style to an underground safe house amid protests that she could walk, thank you very much.

That was the moment it began. The moment the God of Mischief went soft. Except he hadn't really, he'd just gained a new reason to fight. And when Jane became pregnant, that gave him two. Four years had passed and their love burned brighter every day. Sometimes, Loki wondered what his life would be if he hadn't followed Jane that day on the battlefield. Where would he be now? Would he have rejoined Thanos? Would he be alive today at all?

So many questions he could never answer, and would never want to.

Jane twisted out of his grasp. She moaned and opened her eyes to stare at the beige curtain. It was an ugly color, he thought. He should change it to blue for her. Blue was her favorite after green.

"Jane," he whispered. "Can you hear me?"

She turned, following the sound of his voice. Her eyes were glassy and unfocused. She looked at him, not smiling or sighing with relief. Not demanding he get her out of this dump and take her home because she was fine and they needed to figure out what went wrong with the test. She just… looked at him.

Then she screamed.

She screamed loud enough to send Loki into the wall and bring not only the nurses but several men in white coats back into the room. They held Jane down as she struggled, her shrieks of fear rising over their bewildered assurances that everything was fine.

"Jane, stop it!" One doctor said. "You need to calm down."

"NO!" she shouted. "No! He can't be here! He's dead! Get him away!"

"Mr. Odinson," the first nurse, Mindy, had lost all fear of him and pushed him outside. "She might be confused right now. Let us take care of her."

He nodded, standing rigidly like a zombie as the cries of his wife assaulted his ears like a thousand knives.

"Dr. Foster, it's okay! It's just your husband-"

"No! He's not my husband! He's not my husband!"

The nurse left him with a sympathetic look, closing the door behind her. He couldn't hear the doctors anymore, but as he walked to the other end of the ICU, Jane's voice echoed clear as a bell.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I don't know what it is about this chapter, but I had the most ridiculously hard time writing it, and even after editing, I'm still not sure how much I like it. Oh well, at least it's done.**

 **I hope you enjoy!**

* * *

Christina was a smart girl. Smarter than all the other kids in her class. She could count to one hundred and read The Cat in the Hat all by herself. She knew how to tell time and how to dress herself. She could cast a spell to get rid of her carrots when she didn't want to eat them. Most of all, she knew when something was wrong and nobody wanted to tell her.

When Daddy was sad, he got really loud. He yelled and screamed and made people run away from him. Except for Mommy. She stayed and yelled back because she wasn't afraid of anything. It always made Daddy calm down and be happy again. When he was mad, it was different. He never yelled, he used his scary face instead.

Christina had seen his scary face before, like the one time he caught her making her carrots disappear. She saw it again when he was talking to Natasha. He used his super scary face because Natasha was a hero and heroes weren't scared of his regular scary face.

Something was wrong with Mommy. She was hurt or she was sick. Christina wished someone would tell her. Natasha had bought her a double chocolate chip ice cream cone with rainbow sprinkles and chocolate sauce on top. It was Christina's favorite, but she was only supposed to have it for her birthday or when she did a good job at school. Whatever was going on, it must be really bad.

When she got tired, Natasha brought her to a room with a big comfy couch. The nurse gave them a blanket and Natasha tucked her in.

"Get some rest, Christina," she said. "Everything will be fine."

She'd been saying that all night.

Even though she was scared for Mommy, Christina was sound asleep in seconds. Her dreams were always fun ever since she learned to control them. She could make her dreamland whatever she wanted, a beach or a park or Disney World. Sometimes, she made them like a memory, but they never came out right and redoing her birthday party stopped being fun after the fifth time.

Sometimes she was alone in dreamland, and sometimes she brought friends. Today there was a little boy she'd never met playing with action figures in the garden while Christina brushed a life-sized Twilight Sparkle's mane. He had dark hair and brown eyes. There was a teddy bear in a blue jacket next to him. They didn't talk or look at each other. The sky should have been sunny, but Christina's mood turned it grey and cloudy.

"My mommy is hurt," she said. She dropped the brush and Twilight flew away.

"So's mine," said the boy.

Natasha shook Christina awake as she was showing the boy how to put together a jigsaw puzzle. They never got to finish it, but the picture was a star.

"Christina, we have to go now," Natasha said. "They're moving your mom to another part of the hospital."

"Okay," Christina nodded. "I made a new friend in my dream. His mommy's sick, too."

Natasha's phone rang, and Christina stopped talking. Mommy always said that when someone was on the phone, it was rude to interrupt. Natasha took the call and led Christina to the door. She clutched her Twilight doll for comfort but found the warm plush lacking for the first time in her life.

"I hope Mommy's okay, Twilight…" she whispered.

* * *

"It looks like retrograde amnesia," the doctor said, keeping a distance of five feet and the receptionist's desk between them. He was of average height and build, no warrior by any stretch of the imagination. If Loki wanted, he could blink and the man's spine would be ripped from his body. The way he was feeling, it might even be cathartic.

"Explain," he hissed.

The doctor gulped as beads of sweat formed on his brow. "Uh… well, sometimes head injuries cause a deficit in one's memory meaning-"

"I know what amnesia is!" Loki bared his teeth at the simpering human. "Tell me how you're going to fix it."

"W-we're not sure yet," the doctor squeaked. "We have to run some tests. If we're lucky, her memory will come back naturally."

"If we're lucky?" Magic sizzled in his blood, ready to burst forth until a hand on his arm and an obnoxious voice in his ear doused the flames.

"Woah, okay Rudolph, let's dial it back a notch." Tony Stark had changed into a clean suit, but his hair was a mess and his eyes bloodshot. Steve Rogers trailed behind him in a uniform stained with dirt and soot, not even trying to keep up appearances. "I'll take it from here, Doc. You've got other patients."

The doctor looked ready to kiss Stark. After he scurried away like a roach, Stark refused to release Loki's arm. Apparently, he wasn't all that fond of his hand. "You can let go now, Stark."

"Not until you've calmed down," Stark said. "I know that look. You can't have a temper tantrum in a hospital, especially on a planet you tried to conquer once. Unless you want to get kicked out?"

"If these idiots would do their jobs, I'd have no need to complain," Loki ground out. He called back his magic regardless. Stark was an imbecile, but every now and then he made a fair point.

"We should find someplace private," said Rogers, eyeing the many spectators who'd halted their daily tasks to watch the show.

"Agreed," Loki and Stark said, never breaking eye contact.

They found a vacant waiting room which locked from the inside. Stark scanned the perimeter for bugs while Rogers closed the curtains. Loki could've handled both tasks in the blink of an eye if not for Jane's screams ceaselessly echoing in his ears. All semblance of concentration was lost in the face of that. Not to mention the sickening thought of what else Jane might've forgotten.

"First things first." Stark laced his fingers behind his back as if he were in charge. "Where's Christina?"

"Agent Romanov is watching her."

"Works for me. Should go without saying we can't let her see Jane like this."

"Truly an astute observation," Loki said curtly. "Now that we've successfully stated the obvious, why don't you explain what happened to my wife?"

Stark narrowed his eyes but knew better than to pick a fight. Largely because of Rogers' presence. Without a peacekeeper, one of them would've thrown something by now.

"Okay, let's start with the facts." He tapped his watch, projecting a holographic video of Jane at the bridge site. Men and women in lab coats bustled about like good little worker bees. Jane oversaw their work from the main control panel. There was no audio, but Loki could easily envision her delegating responsibilities and supervising repairs."This is ten minutes before the explosion. We had just finished system inspections and software upgrades. At that time, everything looked good."

Stark appeared at the corner of the screen going over numbers with one of the scientists. He gave Jane a thumbs up, which she half-heartedly returned. In the corner was Rogers, a passive observer of the hectic activity. He stepped forward at one point while Jane was rewiring the circuits. He faced away from the camera, his words unclear but for Jane's distracted response.

"What was that? What did you say to her?" Loki rounded on Rogers, backing him against the wall. "Tell me!"

"I was asking if she needed help," Rogers said tersely.

"Not that Steve and I haven't had our own disagreements in the past, but how about a little gratitude?" Stark folded his arms. "Jane would be dead if it wasn't for him."

"She wouldn't be endangered in the first place if you fools weren't so incompetent."

"This from the guy who would've gotten his ass kicked by Thanos without us 'incompetent' humans? That's rich."

"Enough," Rogers shouted. "We're all scared for Jane, but fighting never helps anything. Loki, I can't begin to imagine how you're feeling right now, but you have to control yourself. And Tony, stop antagonizing him. I don't want to ask you to leave."

"Remember that time we lost the Siberian bomber and you broke the record for most f-bombs dropped in one sentence?"

Rogers gave him a dirty look. "Just show him the rest of the video."

The feed continued with Jane ordering all nonessential personnel into the viewing booth. This left her, Stark, and several no-name assistants paid excessive amounts of money to press buttons. Jane secured her goggles and gave the order to launch. Tony paused the video there, leaving it frozen on Jane's glowing smile.

"This is a second before we turned on the generator. Best I can figure, something in the internal workings threw a screw which started a chain reaction leading to a power surge."

"That's what caused the explosion? Your so-called technological advances may be lacking, but I know Jane's bridge is not so delicate that a single loose screw could destroy the mainframe."

"It's almost like you should let me finish, and then go on your little 'Loki smart, humans dumb' rant." Stark unpaused the video. "As I was saying, Jane noticed the disruption and asked me to check it out while she set the program on automatic. By then, the internal damage had spilled over into the core processor and the system overheated. I didn't even get a chance to check it before…"

The screen turned to static, flashes of broken footage blinking in and out. When the visual returned, the scene was one of pure carnage. Fire, broken floors, blue sparks everywhere. Blood poured from broken bodies as they dragged themselves to safety. Those who weren't injured helped them along, then went back to seek out their friends. Jane's console had been reduced to a molten blob of plastic and metal. Jane herself was nowhere to be found.

Stark pressed a button on his watch, bringing up a new feed. This camera had taken the brunt of the blast. A long crack down the middle split the image in half. Through the smoke, he caught multiple shadows running into each other and a gaping hole in the floor. Jane's bridge generator was unharmed, reinforced with vibranium plating to be virtually indestructible. The smoke cleared and there was Steve Rogers, hoisting himself out of the hole with a broken, bleeding Jane over his shoulder.

"She was pretty out of it when we found her," Stark said, pausing to let Loki take it all in. "Right after this, the paramedics took over, I called you, and here we are now. The memory loss we didn't know about yet. If we had, I would've given you the heads up."

"I should have gone with her," Loki paced in a circle like a caged animal, knocking a chair out of his way with a burst of unfocused magic. "I knew I should have gone with her. If I had been there..."

"Well, you weren't, and you can't change the past," said Stark. "All we can do now is wait for Jane to get better and hope the amnesia is temporary."

His phone rang suddenly and at the same time, a nursing assistant poked her head inside, timidly requesting Jane's husband. While Stark backed into a corner to answer the call, Rogers took care of the nurse. She seemed perfectly happy to relay her message to him and not have to speak directly to Loki.

"That was the New Asgardian Embassy," Stark said upon ending the call. "Thor's on his way and will be here in approximately three minutes. I swear you guys are too fast…"

"Jane's being moved upstairs to the trauma unit," Rogers said as the assistant made herself scarce.

"Any change?" Stark asked.

Rogers' face said it all. "They got her to calm down and she fell back asleep. Luckily, she didn't make the concussion any worse."

There was nothing accusing in Rogers' tone but Loki felt the blow anyway. He inhaled through his nose, his muscles tight as he forced his feet forward. Walking didn't calm him down, but it was better than standing still. "If the concussion is causing her memory loss, will it not return as she heals?"

"Hopefully," said Stark. "Amnesia's a tricky bitch. It can clear up in five minutes or it can last a lifetime. Luckily, Jane's brain scans came back good. No major trauma in the hippocampus."

"So this could resolve itself," said Rogers.

"She could wake up tomorrow morning pining for her favorite reindeer," Stark winked at Loki, though his usual gaiety was absent. "For now, all we can do now is wait. Wait and have lunch. Anyone up for pizza?"

"I couldn't eat if I wanted to, Stark."

"Neither can I, but it's worth a shot." He tapped his earpiece. "FRIDAY, dial Frank's Pizza."

"You really expect me to just sit here and do nothing," Loki seethed.

"No, I expect you to stand and do nothing. Unless you have a better idea of how to help Jane."

Loki definitely had an idea. 'Better' was, by his own admission, debatable, but it was an idea. "We don't have to wait because I can find her memories myself."

Stark gawked at him, as did Rogers. "You wanna run that by me again?"

"Which of my words did you not comprehend, Stark?"

"Loki, that'll never work," said Rogers. "Jane is already hurt and you want to go digging through her mind?"

"Don't speak to me like I'm a fool, Rogers. I would never harm my wife."

"I know, but I've seen you turn hardened soldiers into mindless vegetables with that spell," Rogers said. "You can't blame me for being skeptical."

"I can blame you for trying my patience," Loki growled, stalking towards the captain. "Every second we waste with idle talk is another second Jane spends unaware. If you think I'm going to settle for waiting it out, you are going to be very disappointed."

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but I agree with Loki," said Stark. Loki, in turn, had to agree with him: he couldn't believe it either. "How about we compromise? We do Loki's idea, but we bring in a professional. Someone whose expertise is more on the healing side of things and less on the inducing hallucinations side. What about that healer goddess I've heard about? Air something or other?"

"Eir," Loki said, "and she can't help. She was killed during Hela's invasion."

"She must have had apprentices, though," said Rogers.

"She had several, but they are inexperienced." Loki had met some of them while negotiating a land deal with Norway for Asgard's new island home off the Scandinavian Peninsula. They were fine girls well on their way to becoming renowned healers, but they were still girls. "Most of them have barely reached adulthood."

"Do they know the spell?" Stark asked.

"They do," Loki grudgingly admitted. "You understand you're asking me to place my wife's well-being in the hands of a child?"

"To be fair, brother, there are worse things."

Oh good. The almighty king was here at last.

Thor had switched from his armor to a plain brown jacket and blue jeans for the occasion. His eyepatch was black like a pirate's. His hair had grown back and he'd mostly stopped snapping his teeth when someone holding scissors came within a foot of him. All in all, Midgard was treating the oaf well.

"Hey there, Point Break. How's New Asgard?"

Thor smiled at Stark. "We've all settled in quite well. But enough about that. How is Jane? Do we know yet how much she's forgotten?"

The cheery atmosphere his arrival had brought instantly dissipated. For once in his life, Loki hadn't the words to speak. He lowered his gaze to the floor as Rogers answered: "She doesn't remember Loki, so we're thinking she won't remember Christina either. We're not letting her see Jane until we know for sure."

"A wise decision," Thor said grimly. If Loki had to guess, he'd say Thor worried for Christina more than Jane. She'd had that uncle of hers wrapped around her finger from the moment he first held her. "My brother and I owe you a debt of gratitude for saving her, Steve."

He clapped Steve on the shoulder, getting a modest smile in return. "It was nothing, really. I just hope Jane'll be okay."

"She will be, my friend. She is stronger than you know." He turned to Loki. "I can have Ragna here in an hour. Eir always said she was her finest protegee."

"Thank you, brother, but I'd rather do this myself."

"Putting aside the brain-melting thing we're all worried about," Stark butt in, "there's also the issue of objectivity. We don't let parents operate on their children, so how can we let you mind probe your wife?"

"He's right, brother," said Thor. "I know it's hard for you to relinquish control, but for Jane's sake, let me call Ragna."

Loki ground his teeth. Helplessness did not sit well with him and if that bridge wasn't Jane's pride and joy, he'd spirit off to her lab right now and destroy it with his bare hands. Stifling the overwhelming rage, he said: "Do it."

Thor sighed. "Thank you, brother."

"Okay, glad we got that worked out. Didn't even have to punch anyone." Stark walked to the door. "If anyone needs me, I'll be dealing with the press. They've been outside salivating since we got hear."

"Tell them to leave at once and never return, or else the wrath of the God of Mischief shall rain down upon them for the rest of their pathetic lives."

"And the God of Thunder," Thor added as he typed out a message to Ragna on his phone.

"Copy that."

They didn't stick around long after Stark left. The lobby had quieted down now that all patients had been relocated to the appropriate department. Loki led the way to triage where they were given Jane's room number and directions to the elevator. Rogers never said a word even as the receptionist saluted him. They followed the signs and Rogers continued to lag behind, first by one step, then by five.

"Is there a problem, Rogers?" Loki didn't care in the slightest, but the captain's brooding was wearing on his nerves.

"Everything's fine…" Rogers said, shaking his head. "I mean, it's not fine, but… this is going to sound weird, but does Jane ever talk about me?"

Loki's jaw clenched. "My wife has no reason to think of other men if that's what you're inferring."

"It's not," Rogers said. "I only ask because of something Jane said earlier."

Loki slowed to a stop. Thor was too far ahead and didn't notice them. "Said what?"

Rogers bit his lip. "When I found her, she was still awake. She kept talking to herself. Most of it I couldn't understand, but when I picked her up, she looked at me and said 'I'm so happy to see you, Steve.'"

"What's so strange about that?"

"She never calls me Steve, only Captain Rogers." He shrugged. "It might not mean anything, but… I don't know..."

Loki appraised Rogers. His posture was strong, but something in the air around him had shifted. It wasn't a question of what, because the answer was obvious. In order to reach the elevators, they had to pass the war memorial. James Barnes would have smiled at Rogers as he had in life. As he did before removing his commlink and running headfirst into battle like a true warrior.

"You lost someone dear to you in the war against Thanos, did you not?" Rogers sucked in a breath. He never liked talking about Barnes. "Perhaps you didn't love him the way I love my Jane, but I trust you realize I will do anything to get her back."

Rogers nodded. He likely didn't trust himself to speak. That was fine. Loki had no time to listen. He went ahead and found Thor holding a car. They rode to the seventh floor in silence. Loki watched the numbers light up in sequence, from two to three to four to five. They never stopped and no one else got on. It was as much a relief as it was agitating. Nothing in the world would bring Loki joy more than looking into Jane's eyes and seeing all the love and devotion they had shared for the last few years.

But he wouldn't see any of that today, and the worst part of all was knowing it.

* * *

"Natasha, can I have a cookie?"

Natasha put down her magazine. Christina was on the couch with her Twilight doll, watching My Little Pony on the wall TV. Her favorite episode was on, the one where Fluttershy had to teach Discord to be a good guy. She wasn't paying much attention and kept staring at the floor instead of the screen.

"I'll see if the nurses have some wafers," Natasha said.

"No, those are yucky." Christina pulled her head out of the pillow, showing Natasha wide, tear-filled eyes. "A chocolate chip cookie from the cafeteria would make me feel better. Please?"

It took a stronger, colder person than Natasha Romanov to deny a frightened three-year-old. "Promise me you'll stay right here until I get back."

"I cross my heart and hope to die."

Natasha eyed her suspiciously, but as Christina went back to staring aimlessly at nothing, she seemed satisfied that no funny business was going on and slipped silently out of the room. Christina waited for her steps to fade and counted to sixty. The door didn't open. She leaped off the couch with a cheer. "We did it, Twilight! She's gone. Now let's go find Mommy."

Christina ran to the door and looked out. There was a doctor, a nurse, and a man with a food cart down the hall. She opened the door slowly; it had a really loud creak. None of them paid attention to her and then they disappeared into different rooms. The coast was clear.

"Okay Twilight, let's go over the plan." She set the doll down and put her hands on her hips. "First, we find Mommy. Then, we tell the doctors to make her better so we can go home. With any luck, we'll be back before bedtime. Any questions?"

Twilight swayed and fell on her side.

"Very good. Time to impelment phase one." Christina closed her eyes, concentrating on the waves of magic floating around her. Her daddy always said they were everywhere, but most people didn't know how to sense them. That was why she was special. Grabbing hold of the waves, she recited the spell in her head. Her body tingled like she'd been split in half. When she opened her eyes, a perfect copy of herself lay on the couch under the covers, exactly how Natasha had left her.

"Daddy's gonna be so proud of me," she whispered to Twilight as she tip-toed out of the waiting room.

She kept close to the wall, hiding behind a garbage can when the food cart man came back out and moved to the next room. Another spell could make her invisible, but Christina hadn't learned that one yet, so she only had her wits to go by. She had great wits, though. Mommy and Daddy always said so. Speaking of Mommy, the first room Christina checked wasn't hers. There was an old man with a bandage on his head.

The second room wasn't her's either. Neither was the third or the fourth. She was getting closer to the end of the hall and Natasha could be back in the waiting room trying to figure out why Christina wouldn't talk or move. Making the copies do things was another spell she didn't know yet.

"Dr. Foster," someone said in the next room over. "I'm sorry to wake you, but we need to check your vitals."

"Okay…" said a really sleepy voice Christina would know anywhere.

"Mommy!"

She sprinted down the hall, forgetting all about being a super sneaky spy. She smacked into a doctor's legs and kept going. Someone shouted her name and it might've been Natasha. She didn't care. Her mommy needed her.

"Mommy!" She curtains aside with her mind. They flew off the rings into the corner. Her mommy was propped up in bed, pale with band-aids all over her face and arms. Maybe she tripped and fell from really high up. Christina did that once. It hurt so bad she cried for an hour.

"Sweetie, you can't be in here," said a nurse holding a thermometer.

Christina ignored her. She approached the bed, so excited she could hardly speak. "Hi, Mommy! I missed you so much. Did you miss me, too? Did you?"

She jumped up and down as Jane stared at her. Her mouth hung open; her eyes were scrunched together like she was confused. "What?"

"I drew you a picture. It's us and Daddy looking at the stars on a hill. I would've brought it with me, but Daddy said we had to leave fast because you got hurt, so I couldn't."

"Wait, I don't…" she closed her eyes and was silent for a long time. She opened them again and they landed on Christina without a hint of recognition. "Who are you?"

Christina giggled, though her heart wasn't in it. She had that bad feeling again. "I'm Christina, silly. Your daughter."

She reached for her mother's hand, but Jane snatched it away. Her pale skin had become a lot paler. "No… no, that's not right. I don't have a daughter.

Christina's heart sank to her feet. "Of course you do. I'm your daughter!"

"Stop it. Just stop it." Jane buried her head in her hands as sobs wracked her body. "I don't know you. Go away."

"But..." Fresh tears welled up in Christina's eyes, real ones. Suddenly, a scrape on the knee didn't seem quite so bad. "Mommy-"

"I'm not your mommy!"

Jane screamed so loud it shook the room. Christina had been yelled at before. She'd been punished before, but never had her mommy sounded like this. Like she never wanted to see Christina again. Like she hated her.

As the nurse struggled to calm Jane down, Christina ran, wailing at the top of her lungs. She nearly collided with her father and Uncle Thor. Loki caught her, his expression one of horror as he immediately understood what had happened. "Christina-"

She shoved him away and kept running, so fast her legs ached. She ran until she couldn't run anymore, and then she fell to the ground and cried her eyes out.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Finally got this out after a hundred years. Only one more chapter followed by an epilogue.**

 **Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

He should never have brought Christina.

He should have sent her off to Darcy. She only lived five blocks away. Or he could've spirited her to Norway and had Selvig watch her. He'd known this before the accident. He should have done it the second his instincts told him there was a problem. It would've taken him a whole extra minute. Thirty seconds if he was quick about it. Or even twenty.

He always prided himself on his calm under pressure. When the broken rainbow bridge dropped him on Thanos's rock, he won the titan's trust in the face of imminent death by torture. When Thanos came back and demanded Loki hold up his end of the bargain, Loki handled it. He stayed under thumb while feeding information to Thor using the secret code they'd developed as children. He'd played the part of an obedient number two until Thanos's suspicions grew too high and he could no longer afford to pretend. Whatever came his way, Loki always had his dignity. He always knew what to expect.

He stood before the weeping form of his daughter, so small his eyes almost slid past her, and never felt like a greater fool.

Loki kneeled beside her, pushing sections of hair off her wet cheeks. It was getting too long, he noted dully. She was due for a trip to the barbershop. He wondered what special treat they'd have to promise her this time to get her in the chair. She hated barber shops even more than she hated going to the dentist, and that was saying something.

Paying no mind to the befuddled stares of hospital personnel, Loki scooped Christina up and started walking. No one got in his way, which he appreciated. After what just happened, he had no more energy to drive clueless onlookers off. The triage nurse pointed out a vacant private waiting room and Loki nodded in thanks.

Inside were a dozen uncomfortable chairs and a muted TV running infomercials. Motivational posters encouraged the sick to embrace the power of positive thinking. Brochures for different sections of the hospital were color-coded and neatly stacked on the coffee table. Loki sat down, careful not to jostle his sniffling cargo.

"Mommy hates me," she croaked.

"No, Christina," Loki stared deep into the eyes she inherited from him. "Listen to me now, your mother loves you more than anything in the world. She could never hate you."

"But she said she wasn't my mommy."

"She's confused," Loki said. "That's all, just confused. She doesn't know what she's saying."

"What happened to her?"

Loki's heart ached. This had been so much easier with Stark and Rogers. Not even Thor made him feel so much like he would come apart at the seams. But they weren't his daughter. They weren't the ones who smiled just like Jane, laughed just like Jane, cried just like Jane.

"Your mother is… she is…" Few times in his thousand years of life had Loki been truly lost for words. "Do you remember when I told you there was an accident?"

She nodded, eyes wobbling.

"Your mother was injured. She hit her head, and now she's forgotten some things."

"Are you going to make her better?" She clung to his shirt the same way she did when night terrors ravaged her sleep. "You can make her better, right?"

"Of course," Loki said, "and I will. I'll make her better and it will be as though none of this ever happened."

She threw her arms around his neck, no longer crying but seeking comfort. Her body gave off more warmth than any of his accursed race should be capable of, and for that he was grateful. He held her tight, though his arms felt weak. He was bombarded with intrusive thoughts of failure. What if his plan didn't work? What if her memories were irretrievable? What if trying to get them back only made her physical condition worse? What if the Jane he knew and loved was lost to him forever?

All these thoughts and more swarmed in his head like a raging inferno. He doused the flames as best he could. Christina would sense his anguish, and any attempt to soothe her would be rendered moot.

"There now," he whispered in her ear. "No more tears."

"'M not crying," she mumbled, beating her tiny fist against his chest.

Loki chuckled. "Of course. What was I thinking? You're far too grown up for that."

"Uh huh," she said, leaving a wet spot on his shirt. "I'm a big girl now."

"Indeed you are." Loki lifted her chin. "That's why I know you do this. You can be strong for your mother. That's what she needs you to be."

"And she doesn't hate me?"

Loki feigned shock. "Hate you? I don't think there's a soul in all the cosmos who could hate you."

She whimpered. Her tears had dried but her eyes were no less haunted. Loki understood. Nothing would be okay until she heard those words those words from her mother's mouth. She clutched his shirt in her small but strong hands, her breathing steady as exhaustion overwhelmed her. She seemed so fragile like this, cradled in his arms as he hummed a lullaby and wished his voice was as sweet as Frigga's.

"Mommy…" she breathed. Her face unscrewed itself and she slipped away into peaceful oblivion.

Loki kept rocking her, unable to let her go. It felt foolish to admit, but it was just as much for his relief as it was hers. If only Jane could see him now, holding their daughter like a lifeline. She'd grin in that perfectly irritating way of hers and say, 'I knew it. The big bad Mischief god is a softie at heart.'

He clung to the memory of her voice. Only when the waves of uneasiness began to ebb did he look at Thor, standing in the open doorway for well over a minute.

"How is she?" Thor closed the door behind him and sat down.

"Confused," Loki said, "and frightened."

Thor nodded. "We all are."

Much as Loki loved wallowing in misery with his brother, there were more important matters at hand. He fixed Thor with an expectant gaze, not voicing the question pressing urgently at his throat, but trusting Thor to get the message.

"Thirty minutes," he said.

"That long?"

"Ragna is abroad in Wakanda. They're flying her in as a favor to us, but it will take some time."

Though he wanted to scream, Loki swallowed his anger. Rising to his feet, he placed Christina on the couch, casting a spell to soften the cushions and summoning a blanket. She twisted around, searching for a comfortable spot. Eventually, she settled on her side and curled up with her favorite toy. For these few blissful moments, she was undisturbed, lost in the land of her dreams. Loki hoped they were happy ones.

He left the room with Thor at his side, the two brothers ready for action. Many centuries ago, when they were mere boys dreaming of glory, Odin had drilled it into their heads never to show the enemy fear. They fed on inhibition, he'd said, for it was the sister of weakness. Though this particular foe was more abstract than a world-conquering tyrant or hostile alien force, Odin's words rang true and Loki followed them to the letter. He was coming apart at the seams, but no one would ever know it.

"Let's go," he said, and what a shame it was that he couldn't enjoy commanding the Mighty Thor for once. "We have work to do."

* * *

Jane was asleep when they got to her room, and whether it was a blessing or a curse, Loki didn't know. She wasn't screaming at the sight of him, but he'd almost prefer it if she did. At least then she wouldn't look so close to death. Tubes ran from her veins to a pulsing machine hooked up to a monitor attached to the wall. Numbers ran across the screen, changing every few seconds but always staying within the same range. He'd been told this was a good thing. He hoped they were right.

A male nurse unhooked a drip bag from the pole next to her bed and replaced it with a new one. He bent over her, pulling one of her eyes open and flashing a light at the pupil. Neither Jane nor the monitor reacted.

"Looks like she still has some sedatives in her system," he said, re-adjusting her blankets. "She wasn't on a high dose, but it might be a while before her body flushes it out."

"That's fine. If need be, Ragna can do it herself when she arrives," said Thor. He moved aside to let the nurse continue his work. "With any luck, we'll be out of your hair before the day is out."

"There's no luck about it," Loki growled.

The nurse, a daintily built man not unlike what Steve Rogers had once been, shied away from Loki's glare and wrote quickly on his tablet with shaking fingers.

"Brother," Thor said wearily.

Loki ground his teeth. The need to unleash his rage at the nearest target had yet to ease, but he forced calm into his tone when he addressed the man. "Thank you for all you've done for my wife. I am eternally grateful."

He must have sounded more convincing than he felt, as the nurse felt safe enough to look him in the eye and drop his tablet, leaving all his vital areas exposed. "For what it's worth, I have a wife, too, and I know if it were her, I'd be freaking out just as much as you are."

Loki would have said it meant nothing, but for once in his life, he couldn't find it in him to lie.

Jane's room was a single bed suite overlooking downtown Albuquerque. The curtains were drawn, filling the room with natural light. Loki had no idea what time it was or how many hours had passed since the explosion. It felt like ten, but whether it was ten hours or ten minutes, Jane would be appalled if she knew how much time she'd wasted in bed when she could've been fixing the bridge.

He was not at her side as he should have been. Thor was. It was not his hand clasped around hers, and it would not be his voice coaxing her into wakefulness. He would be on the window sill, invisible to the naked eye as hot rays pounded mercilessly at his back.

He had already cast the cloaking spell, but somehow, Thor knew exactly where to look. "Are you sure about this?"

It was only the fifth time he'd asked. "If we're going to restore Jane's memory, we need to know how much she's forgotten. Right now, she might believe you two are still… involved."

He'd never asked how far his and Jane's relationship went before they ended it. One of the first things he did with Jane at the start of their courtship was go through all his former lovers from the first girl he kissed to the last noblewoman he slept with. Her list was barely a tenth as long as his, and Thor wasn't on it. That was good enough for him.

Whatever happened next, he wouldn't complain. He might come away wanting to strangle his brother, but that was hardly a new feeling. If enduring five minutes of his wife fawning over Thor meant bringing her back, so be it. He told himself this again and again as Thor caressed her cheek and he instinctively summoned a knife.

"Jane," Thor whispered, nudging her. "Wake up, my love."

Loki gritted his teeth. 'For Jane. It's for Jane…'

"Whasit…" she moaned.

"Can you hear me, Jane? It's me, Thor."

"Thor…" her eyes fluttered. "Thor? Isat you?"

Thor shot Loki an encouraging look as Jane struggled to sit up. He placed a gentle hand on her chest. "Don't try to move. You're still weak."

"My head," Jane mumbled. "Feels like jello…"

"You have a concussion, but we're bringing in a specialist to help you. It'll be over soon, love, I promise."

Jane moaned but didn't object to being forced to stay in bed. Yet another abnormality Loki hoped Ragna could fix. "How long've I been here?"

"A few hours," Thor said. "Barely even a day."

"Feels like months. How'd I get here?"

"You were in an accident." Thor glanced at Loki again, as if asking permission to go on. "The system malfunctioned. I don't know all the details, but I have no doubt you'll get the problem fixed just as soon as you're well, my love."

Okay, now he was laying it on too thick. Loki would have dragged him outside and played a rousing game of 'get help' with the nearest brick wall, except now Jane's eyes were fully open and locked onto Thor with a peculiar expression.

"Thor, no offense, but it's weird when you call me that. You know we broke up ages ago."

Thor stared at her, as did Loki. He almost lost control of his magic and just barely regained himself before his legs reappeared.

"You remember that?" Thor leaned all the way over her. "Do you know where we were?"

Jane closed her eyes and opened them again. "I think… the sandwich shop? The one with the meatball subs you like… it was before Thanos came…"

"Thanos?" Thor and Loki said together, and if Loki had to guess, it was only by the grace of her muddied perceptions that she didn't immediately start screaming.

"We went there, and I said it wasn't working… said you weren't around enough, so we should just be friends..."

"And what happened after? What happened with Thanos? Do you remember?"

"Hard to forget. We found a way to- to use the stones against him. Tony was… I brought him the weapon… ran through the battle… that was stupid…"

"Perhaps," Thor said fondly, "but if it hadn't been for you, we would have lost the day and the universe with it."

"Yeah…" Jane murmured. "It was fun…"

"I don't know if fun is the word I'd use," he said. "What does your husband think?"

Jane started to respond, or Loki thought she did, but the drugs in her veins held a death grip on her mind, dulling her normally incomparable cognitive abilities. A low hiss was all she managed as she sunk into the mattress.

"Jane," Thor said a little louder, "what does Loki think?"

"Loki…" she groaned, her eyebrows knit together. "Loki's dead… he died… didn't he?"

"No, Jane, he didn't." Thor held her hand. Squeezed it tightly. "He's alive and he's waiting for you. He misses you so much."

"But… he died… I saw the body… oh, my head…"

Her eyes glazed over and Loki knew that was all they'd get. He moved with a zombie-like gait towards the door. It opened for him as if by an unseen force and he kept walking until he was too numb to go on.

"She remembers Thanos," he muttered, trusting only Thor would hear him over the bustle of activity. "She remembers the war, she remembers _you_. She remembers everything except…"

"Wait, brother, perhaps it isn't so," said Thor, ever the optimist. "If she knows so much, it must mean her memory is returning on its own."

"But if that were true, why would I not be the first thing she remembers?" Loki seethed. "Or Christina. She should've asked about her first thing, and then she should have asked about the bridge. That's the Jane Foster I married, and the woman in that room is not her."

"I don't know, Loki. I wish I did." Thor sighed heavily. "I wish we could turn back time and make it so this never happened."

"If only," Loki said. "Unfortunately, the necessary conditions needed for successful spacetime travel are physically impossible."

"Jane checked?"

"Jane checked."

Thor smiled. It was devoid of true happiness, but a smile nonetheless. "She is an incredible woman. Truly in a league of her own."

As if Loki needed to be told twice.

Stark arrived with his usual perfect timing right at that moment. He was slightly more put together, having presumably stopped to touch up before throwing himself into the veritable lion's den that was the press. Sunglasses perched on his nose gave him the illusion of aloofness, when they came off his eyes were bloodshot.

"God I'm tired," he said following a twenty-second yawn. "I need coffee. Or vodka. Whatever I can get the fastest. Anyway, did I miss anything?"

Thor gave Stark a quick rundown of the last half hour while Loki watched Jane's heart monitor. Just in case something changed.

"So now we're dealing with selective amnesia," Stark said. He patted Loki's shoulder. "That's rough, buddy."

With a steely glare, Loki shoved the unwanted hand away. "Remind me why I haven't tried to kill you lately?"

"Because if you did, we couldn't tag each other in embarrassing facebook posts anymore and you'd get bored." Stark leaned against the wall like he owned the place (and maybe he did). "One thing I don't get: where's this 'Loki is dead' thing coming from? She thinks you're still on that elf planet?"

"More than likely," said Thor. "If her last memory of Loki is seeing him dead, it's the only explanation. She didn't find out he was alive until after Thanos came."

"Which still doesn't explain why she's forgotten me," Loki interjected, pacing around the two men. "How is it possible that she'd lose her memories of our family and nothing else?"

"It does seem too neat to be accidental," Thor conceded.

"Wait, are we thinking this was sabotage now?" asked Tony. "Because I'd believe someone tampering with Jane's bridge to try and kill her, but that blast only just had enough power to give her a head injury and she was at ground zero."

"It was enough to distort her memory, sabotage or no," said Loki.

Stark's phone buzzed, putting the debate on hold as he read through his messages. For the first time since this nightmare began, a genuine grin broke through the gloom.

"Well, intentional or no, we're about to get the ball rolling." He held up his phone and the single sentence message from his trusty chauffeur. "That was Shuri. Ragna will be here in approximately ten seconds."

Nine seconds later, the elevator doors opened to reveal a petite, golden-haired young woman flanked by two massive guards. They were made no less intimidating by their decision to dress in Midgardian clothes, though Loki wondered if sweatpants were really the best option. The trio moved with synchronized steps, the already small woman made even smaller by the height and girth of her companions. She was the only one whose look suggested otherworldly origins, from her flowing white gold dress to her flawless skin. Her hair flowed to her back in perfect ringlets, her blue eyes deep and filled with age-old wisdom. She kept her head bowed, as was customary when presenting oneself to royalty.

"Your majesty," she curtsied for Thor and Loki in turn. "Your Highness."

"Ragna," Thor took her hand and kissed it. "Thank you for coming on such short notice."

"It's my honor to be of assistance," she said. "King T'Challa and Princess Shuri send their regards. They hope for Lady Jane's swift recovery, and are prepared to help however they can if needed."

"Please send them our deepest thanks," said Loki, "though I don't think we'll need any more assistance from here."

"No, your highness, neither do I," Ragna answered, and though they'd only met a handful of times, Loki had never liked her quite so much.

Together they returned to Jane's room. Hospital policy only allowed two visitors at a time, but it was spacious enough inside to easily fit six. Ragna kneeled before Jane's sleeping form with Loki overseeing her work from above. Thor and Stark waited at the foot of the bed and Ragna's guards kept watch by the door.

Ragna wiped the sweat off Jane's brow. A line of saliva had leaked out the side of her mouth, trailing down to her chin. Ragna cleaned that up and, with Thor's help, rolled Jane on her back. A pitiful moan escaped her lips and Loki almost intervened to stop them.

"You can hold her hand if you wish," Ragna said.

He flexed his fingers, as he'd unconsciously been doing for the past few minutes. Wordlessly, he obeyed, sliding his fingers between Jane's and doing his best to ignore how limp they were.

Ragna nodded at him, a reassuring gesture that did nothing but worsen his nerves. He held back a shudder as Ragna placed her thumb on Jane's forehead, a ball of light forming at the tip. She ran tight circles over the bridge of Jane's nose. Magic sunk into her flesh, illuminating her face and bringing color back to her cheeks.

No one said a word or moved a muscle as she worked. It was hard to know who to pray to when he was essentially a god himself, but as he waited for Ragna's verdict, Loki begged his mother in Valhalla that this would work and there'd be no more unpleasant surprises.

"Her mind is cloudy," Ragna said, frowning slightly. "I'm sensing great pain and her thoughts are scattered."

"That's probably the concussion," said Stark, after what must have been the longest period of silence in his entire life. "Think you can fix it?"

The white glow of Ragna's magic intensified, then dimmed down to normal. "I just did."

Stark whistled. "You guys are good."

Ragna moved from Jane's forehead to her temples, mouthing incantations. Jane's fingers curled around Loki's, which he took to be a good sign. Ragna chanted under her breath, moving through Jane's memories with a practiced grace Loki begrudgingly acknowledged he didn't possess.

"Do you see anything?"

"Not so far. I've just past your first encounter with her following Malekith's invasion."

"She punched him in the face," Thor 'whispered' to Stark.

"Remind me to buy her a drink later."

Loki reminded himself to kill them both later.

He bit down on his tongue as the seconds snailed by, lest he give in to the temptation to snap at Ragna. His heart skipped several beats when her expression suddenly shifted from concentrated to baffled.

"What is it?" he demanded. "What do you see?"

She opened her eyes, her skin blanched the same shade as Jane's. "Her- her memory is intact."

Loki froze, unable to move no matter how many signals his brain fired off. "Then it's done? She remembers me?"

Ragna shook her head. "That's just it, your highness. Her memories are here, but you're not in them."

"Not in them?" Thor piped up. "With all due respect, Ragna, if Jane's memory is back, Loki and Christina should be at the forefront."

"I know, your majesty, I can't explain it." She pressed down harder as if that would change what she'd seen. "Prince Loki isn't here beyond the battle of Svartalfheim, and Princess Christina is absent completely. It's as if she never knew them at all."

"So where does that leave us?" Loki's voice had gone dangerously low. "You're saying there's _nothing_ where our family should be?"

"Actually, there is something." Ragna hesitated, but in the face of two irate royals, she had no choice but to continue. "I see another man where Prince Loki should be. A man and a boy. The boy looks like the man, but his eyes are Lady Jane's."

"What man?" Loki shot to his feet. "Who is he?"

"I don't recognize him."

" _Describe_ him!"

Ragna flinched, but Loki didn't care. Better he shouted than broke something. Swallowing, Ragna refocused on Jane. "He's tall with dark hair. His stance is powerful. He carries himself like a warrior. It's strange. He's human, but… more than somehow. He's…" She trailed off, her hands sliding to her sides. Though she faced Loki, she seemed to be talking to herself when she asked: "What sort of man has a metal arm?"

* * *

Christina was back in her dream world, playing in the garden under a happy sun. The boy with the teddy bear was here, too. He was picking at the grass and kept saying how it should be green, not purple. Christina decided she liked him. He had cooties for sure- all boys did- but he was nice and knew good games so she'd make an exception for him.

"Wanna play My Little Pony?" she summoned Twilight Sparkle. In her dream, the toy was three times as big and twice as soft.

The boy gagged. "That's for girls."

"No, it's not. It's for everyone," Christina said. She plucked a second doll out of the air, dropping it at his feet. "Here, you can be Spike. He's a dragon."

"He doesn't look like a dragon."

"That's 'cause he's still a baby. Like you."

The boy put his hands on his hips. "I'm not a baby! I'm three years old."

"Well, I'm three and a half, so there."

He stuck his tongue out at her, so Christina stuck her tongue out back. They tried to see how long they could do it, but then their mouths got tired and they had to stop. Christina brushed Twilight's mane, then set her up for a tea party with Pinkie Pie and Rarity. She thought about making the table bigger so Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, and Applejack could join them. Maybe she'd even invite Starlight Glimmer or Princess Celestia. Thinking about more guests kept her from thinking about Mommy, so she came up with a few more and then moved on to deciding where they'd sit.

"How's your mom?" the boy asked.

"I don't know," Christina said as the blue sky turned gray. "I tried to talk to her, but she didn't remember me."

The boy hugged his bear. "My mom didn't remember me either. She said she didn't have a son."

"My mommy said she didn't have a daughter." As scary as this was, Christina liked having a friend who understood. "The grown-ups all said I had to wait, but I didn't want to. I used my magic so I could sneak out."

"I just kicked people and stepped on their feet until they moved," said the boy, puffing out his chest proudly. "I can do that because I'm strong like my dad but all the grown-ups think I'm not."

"Grown-ups are dumb."

"Yeah…"

He sat down at the table and Christina handed him a teacup. It had apple juice in it because real tea was gross. The boy propped his bear up against a water pitcher and Christina gave him his own cup.

"I hope your mommy gets better," she said.

He looked like he wanted to cry, but he didn't. Maybe he thought he was too old to cry, or too tough. Boys were silly like that. "Thanks. I hope your mom gets better, too."

His body shimmered like glass when the sunlight hits it. Slowly, he faded away. First, he was solid, and then Christina could see through him.

"I guess you have to go now," she said, hanging her head. It was lonely without him. "Bye-bye Jacob."

"Bye Christina."

It felt like he was dragged away on a hook, but he wasn't moving. The world changed around him. The purple grass became a rough blue carpet. The mountains shrank into the wall, behind a bunch of posters covered in words he couldn't read. As the dreamland disappeared, Jacob lay on his side, not ready to move yet. He pulled the blanket over his chin, wishing it was as the one he had at home. He missed home. He missed being home with Mom and Dad. It had only been a day since Mom got hurt, but it felt more like a zillion years.

He heard a cough and looked up. A dark shadow was hunched over by the door, not moving much, but not sleeping either. If he was asleep, he'd be snoring. Jacob knew that from experience. Throwing off the blanket, he crept over and tugged on the man's pants leg. "Dad?"

Bucky Barnes raised his head. He looked awful with bags under his eyes and too much stubble. He hadn't slept a wink since they got here, but he put on a brave face as he lifted Jacob into his arms. "Hey, kid. I didn't hear you get up."

"I was quiet," Jacob said. "I wanted to be extra stealthy this time."

"You're getting way too good at that." Bucky mused. "Someday, you'll be better than me."

"Uncle Steve says I'm already better than you."

"Uncle Steve wet the bed until he was eight. What does he know?"

Jacob giggled. It was fun when his dad and Uncle Steve insulted each other. Mom said they had a 'vitriolic' friendship, and he didn't know what that meant but he figured it was because they liked to punch each other a lot during training and then high fived when it was over.

Thinking about Mom made Jacob's chest hurt and stopped him from laughing. He almost wished he had Bucky Bear to cuddle. He wouldn't care if he looked like a baby. "Is Mom better yet?"

Bucky sighed, squeezing Jacob's shoulder in a way that used to make him feel better. "Not yet, kid. Uncle Thor's getting a friend of his to come help She'll be here soon."

"How soon?"

"Not soon enough," Bucky muttered. He checked his phone and sent off a text. It was probably to Shuri, his friend who Jacob hadn't met yet. All he knew was that she was really smart and she gave Dad a new arm. Uncle Tony said she was cool, so Jacob figured it was true. Uncle Tony always knew what was cool.

"She can make Mom better, right?" Jacob asked. "Thor's friend? She can do it, right?"

"Of course she can," said Bucky, and though Jacob was still young, he knew when his dad wasn't telling all the truth. "She'll fix Mom up and then we'll get out of this dump. Go do something fun together. How does McDonald's sound?"

Not as good as having Mom back, but Jacob nodded anyway. "Can we get shamrock shakes?"

Bucky wrinkled his nose. "What is it with you and those things? They taste like toothpaste."

"Mom likes them, too," Jacob said. One of his favorite things to do with Mom was order the largest size shamrock shake possible and slurp on them until Dad was so grossed out, he couldn't finish his double quarter pounder. They'd done it a bunch of times now, but it was always funny.

Bucky rolled his eyes. "What the hell am I going to do with you two?"

"I don't know, but you owe a quarter to the swear jar." There were a lot of quarters in the swear jar.

"Sure thing."

They sat together as the minutes dragged on, Bucky watching the window for any sign of Steve or Tony. His entire being demanded he go find Jane and remain vigil at her side until this nightmare was over. Any other time, he wouldn't have to want it. He'd be doing it. This was different, though. He still remembered the way she'd looked at him. Like he was a complete stranger.

 _'Janie, it's me. Your husband!'_

 _'No! I don't know you. You're not my husband!'_

 _'Baby, please-'_

 _'GET AWAY FROM ME!'_

And here he thought that was the end of his nightmares of people cowering in fear of him.

He checked his phone, banishing the image of Jane's terrified expression as he took in her beautiful face mid-laugh on his home screen. The picture was one he took himself while they were on a picnic date. He'd kissed the life out of her after snapping it. She was just so perfect, he couldn't help himself. A reply from Shuri popped up, letting him know Ragna had just landed on the roof and was on her way down. Steve walked in at that very moment.

"She's here," he said.

"I know." Bucky rose, Jacob still in his arms. "Just got the message."

Steve took Jacob from him, meeting little resistance from father or son. "Go on. I'll watch him."

He smiled in that motivating way reserved for educational videos, and Bucky almost felt bad about letting slip that bedwetting story. Steve was a no good punk for sure, but damn if he wasn't a reliable no good punk.

Leaving the waiting room, Bucky activated his proverbial horse blinders. As a sniper, he'd perfected the art of eliminating distractions. Doctors and nurses were everywhere, some of them wheeling patients down the hall. As emaciated or close to death as they looked, Bucky ignored them all as best as he could. It was hardly his first time getting acquainted with the grim reaper, but it was the first time in years he felt like that kid who needed his mother to check under the bed for monsters.

He couldn't even look at the infinity stones war memorial wall, and that thing was huge. Somehow, they'd managed to find a photo of every single person who died fighting that mutated grape fucker ( _'Swear jar…'_ ). Even Loki was up there, rat bastard that he was. Thor had insisted on it, and there were few people out there ballsy enough to say no to a thunder god. In a way, Bucky understood. He couldn't say he liked the guy, but Loki had come through for Earth in the end. He'd fought Thanos to his dying breath and, attempted conquest aside, Bucky respected that.

Hell, in another world, he might've been the one to make the sacrifice play. If he hadn't been so busy dragging a certain reckless scientist off the battlefield. He could live to be two hundred years old and he would never understand what Jane was thinking that day. Sometimes, he wondered if all that brainpower was paradoxically making her dumber, but even if it were true, he wouldn't want her any other way.

She was the love of his life. His perfect match. And by God, he didn't know what he'd do without her.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: So... this took forever.**

 **I don't what it was about this story that was such a bitch to write, but it took me ages just to get through this one chapter. Somehow, I managed to get it done by the skin of my teeth right before Endgame premieres, so thank God for that.**

 **I hope you enjoy and have a Happy Easter/Passover/Sunday.**

* * *

There were five of them huddled around a coffee table in the private waiting room. After today, Loki would sooner raze all waiting rooms to the ground and dance over the ashes than set foot in one again. He sat between Thor and Natasha, Rogers off to the side staring into space and Stark pouring over an equation he'd scrawled across two walls. Loki was fairly certain he'd bleed from the ears soon for how fast his hands and (admittedly brilliant) mind were working.

"But if that's it… no, it can't be… but what if... but only if… unless…"

He'd been doing that for ten minutes, and Loki was tempted to join him. He stayed still and silent instead, lost in thoughts he couldn't express. Thoughts which, either fortunately or unfortunately, Thor could.

"If this is not the Jane we know," he rubbed his stubbled chin, "then ours must be out there somewhere. Perhaps wherever this Jane belongs."

"You may be onto something there, Point Break." Stark had abandoned his mess of unfinished math and turned to the final blank wall, drawing a single line straight down the middle. "The solution to our little conundrum might be ridiculously easy… and therefore ridiculously hard. You all know what multiverse theory is, right?"

Only Rogers raised his hand. "Are you talking about other universes?"

"I am indeed," Stark stood on the balls of his feet. "Let's put it this way. Imagine you're standing in front of two doors, and you can only open one. Whichever door you pick, there is another universe running parallel to yours where you chose the opposite door. For every decision you've ever faced, every life-altering event, there's a world where you made a different choice."

"So you're saying there's a universe where Ultron won," said Natasha, shuddering at the thought. "There's a universe where Thanos won."

"Yup. And if you ever picked soup over salad, there's a world where you picked salad," Tony grinned. "Assuming multiverse theory is true, which I think we're about to definitively prove one way or the other."

* * *

"I'm sorry. I need to process this." Bucky paced around the room, careful to keep his voice down so not to wake the sleeping Jacob. "You're telling me that there's an alternate reality where my wife married Loki of all people. No offense." He said quickly to Thor, not that the king was listening.

"Yeah pretty much," Tony shrugged. "Which means the Jane we have here wasn't out of it when she didn't recognize you. She really isn't the woman you married."

"But that doesn't make sense! How did this even happen?"

"My guess? Something to do with the explosion." Tony returned to his mess of numbers and scribbled something at the bottom. "Jane's portal is meant to transport living beings across different galaxies, but if even one line of data gets lost in translation, it could send the trajectory completely off course. Then a combined series of unpredictable factors ripped open a hole between dimensions and viola! We have a multiverse switcheroo on our hands."

"Okay, that's an awesome theory, but how do we prove it?" Bucky seethed.

"Remember back when I said 'unpredictable factors?' I can't prove it, but if you have a better explanation for why your wife remembers being married to someone else and having a completely different kid, I'm all ears."

* * *

Loki ground his teeth. "All right. If this Jane is from another dimension, we'll just have to send her back."

"That's the most reasonable thing you've said all day, Rudolph," Stark quipped, pointing his pen at him. "First, we have to get Jane's bridge up and running."

"And send her back the way she came," Thor filled in with an uneasy expression.

"Which will be extremely dangerous with a high risk for failure, but it might be the only way." Stark wrote a few more lines, then crossed them out and started again. "We'll have to reconfigure the internal system and increase electrical input. As long as we can keep the hole open long enough for our Jane to get through, we should be okay."

"We'll need this Jane to run through at the same time," said Loki.

Stark's jaw clenched. "Yeah. That's the hard part."

* * *

"We're going to need to get Jane in on this." Tony furrowed his brow. "Or Jane-2 I guess? Alter!Jane? Second Jane? Attack of the Clones Jane?"

"Stop it! My head already hurts," Bucky rubbed his temples, which only exacerbated the dull, thumping pain. Natasha offered him a water bottle, newly purchased from the vending machine and still cold. It didn't help much.

"Let's think logically here," said Steve. "If what Tony is saying is true, we need to make the switch as seamless as possible. I'm guessing if we made a mistake it would mean trouble?"

"Only if by trouble you mean a paradoxical catastrophe which could either erase both Janes or both universes from existing," said Tony, clicking his tongue. "So yeah, pretty bad."

"I need a drink," Bucky muttered, his head against the wall.

"Buck, we can't get drunk."

"Fuck you. I can try!"

"Before you do that, let's get the planning thing done, huh?" Tony tapped the wall. "We're not helping either Jane if we don't focus."

The way he said that. _Either_ Jane. As in 'more than one Jane'. As in 'a Jane who had never met him, let alone loved him, and had a family with a man who wasn't him'. How the hell was he supposed to take all that information, dropped on his head like a nuclear bomb, and just accept it?

 _'Because you have no choice,'_ he told himself. _'No choice at all but to suck it up and get her back, soldier.'_

"I don't believe it." Thor was hunched over in the corner and hadn't spoken a word since Ragna's revelation. "Loki… he's alive…"

Uncomfortable glances spread around the room. Bucky wished he could relate, but he didn't have the same experience with the ol' mischief god as they did. All he had were secondhand accounts of a wannabe overload who nearly razed Manhattan to the ground for what, in the end, amounted to a temper tantrum. Not even giving his life to save the universe had completely absolved him of guilt in the eyes any Avenger who wasn't Thor.

* * *

Loki had nothing to say to Rogers, as the knowledge that another version of his departed friend existed beyond the veil sunk in. It wasn't a lack of compassion or respect for the man (Loki had far more of the latter than he'd ever admit), he just couldn't speak one way or the other on James Barnes.

Only once had he seen him alive, guns blazing as he mowed down Outriders with expert precision. Sometime later, he watched them dig his body out of a pile of dead monsters. They held a grand funeral for him in Wakanda and buried him in Brooklyn next to his parents. Loki saw none of this; he was too busy helping Jane study the mechanics of Thanos's ship as part of his so-called probationary period.

Stark was no more equipped to deal with his bereaved friend, so it fell to Romanov to offer him a shoulder and a comforting hand.

"Bucky's alive. He's really…"

"I know," Natasha whispered, followed by something in Russian. Not for the first time, Loki wondered if their long-standing partnership hadn't become something deeper.

Giving them a moment alone, Thor and Loki rounded on Stark and his wall of figures.

"The only way this can work," Loki said pensively, "is if we find a way to contact my Jane on the other side."

"It's impossible without the bridge," said Thor.

"Might not even work with it." Stark dropped the pen and rubbed his eyes. "God, I hate dead ends. Almost as much as I hate not knowing how something works. Loki, you wouldn't happen to have some kind of magical deus ex machina up your sleeve, would you?"

Loki read through Stark's notes. They were neatly written aside from the crossed out portions. Unlike Jane, Stark's handwriting was clean and legible, which somehow made it harder for him to understand. Either way, it all meant nothing to him. Not if it couldn't bring her back to him.

In the span of a few seconds, he scoured through everything he'd ever learned about magic, from basic spells to the darkest of the forbidden arts. "To send even a thought across dimensions is not a task to be taken lightly. Like any disruption of spacetime, it must be handled carefully."

"But it can be done."

"Don't doubt my brother, Stark," Thor said, patting Loki's shoulder. "Even your Stephen Strange is not as knowledgeable about the wider scope of magical arts as he is."

"Thank you for the glowing referral, brother." Loki waved a hand, conjuring an image of two planets side by side. Nearly touching. "If a foreign object is introduced to one dimension, there are several potential results, most of which involve the two dimensions colliding with each other. We can assume the world this Jane came from is already adjacent to our own. By opening a portal, the boundaries separating the two worlds may have weakened."

"Then getting a message to our Jane should be… not easy exactly but…"

"First, we need to find a gap," Loki said. "Some kind of rip between the dimensions we can utilize. I would be very surprised if at least one hasn't been opened."

It was probably the most intense and emotional conversation Loki had ever taken part in since the day Odin sentenced him to life imprisonment. He barely noticed when the door opened, assuming some ignorable nurse had made the mistake of interrupting them.

"If you guys don't mind, I'd like to be a part of this meeting."

Loki whirled around, his illusory planets fading. All eyes were drawn to her, standing tall(ish) in a bathrobe and slippers. "Jane…"

* * *

"Jane!" Bucky shot to his feet and made it halfway across the room before she flinched. His arms were spread as he came to a halt, and he probably looked ridiculous stuck in this pose. "Er- I mean… sorry, I just-"

"It's fine," Jane said. She moved around him as he lowered his arms, a friendly smile all she could offer him. "I know this is probably just as weird for you as it is for me, Sergeant Barnes."

"Bucky," he said, gritting his teeth. There was only one time Jane ever called him by his old rank and now was beyond not the time to be thinking of that. "Just Bucky please."

She nodded and looked at her hands. They were bare. She always took her ring off when she was working so she didn't lose it. What kind of ring did this Jane have? With her husband. With Loki.

"This is awkward," Tony hissed at Steve. "Maybe we should go. Give them a little space."

"We're fine," Bucky snapped, glancing at Jane in case she wanted to argue the point.

She did not. "Now's not the time to worry about that."

Tony and Steve looked at each other, then at everyone else. Thor either wouldn't or couldn't acknowledge her, and Natasha was watching over Jacob. The boy was like a log, completely gone from the world. He rolled over and whimpered in his sleep, drawing Jane's eyes to him. She moved closer, her breath catching as his brown eyes briefly opened.

"Mom…" he mumbled, followed by a snore.

Jane swallowed. The last time she saw him, she'd burst into hysterical tears and screamed until he was removed from her sight. Bucky had to comfort him and assure him over and over again that Mommy didn't mean it. She was just sick and soon she'd be better. Now she looked at Jacob, the life Bucky had created with her like she didn't know what to feel.

"How- how old is he?" she asked.

"Three," said Bucky. "His birthday's in March."

"So he was conceived in June." Jane's face was bright red in that impossibly adorable way of hers.

Bucky shrugged. "Happy birthday…"

* * *

Jane touched Christina's hair, making sure not to wake her. She was a light sleeper and an early riser, but the last few hours had taken their toll and now she was like a rock. Jane could grab her and shake her and Loki doubted her eyes would open.

"She's beautiful," Jane said. He'd heard it before from her mouth, but it gave him little comfort. She often said the same of complete strangers' children. "She looks like you."

"She gets her energy from you. Ever since she learned how to walk, she is impossible to catch."

"Sounds like Jacob." She swallowed, tears forming at the corners of her eyes.

"Jacob is…"

"My son," Jane said as if he didn't already know. "With Bucky."

"Of course." He rubbed his hand hard enough to redden the skin. "I'm sure he is… a fine young man."

"He's only three." Jane brushed Christina's cheek. "This one's about the same age, huh?"

"She's three and a half," Loki said. "You'd best get it right because she won't hesitate to correct you."

"Yeah, I was like that… too." She stumbled, both in words and in body as she drew herself up. Loki steadied her, even as she tensed under his touch. He let go quickly. She rolled her shoulders and shifted her weight away from him. It was a fine time to remember they weren't alone. "I know I can't stay, so what's the plan?"

All eyes turned to Stark, who for once clearly did not enjoy being the center of attention.

"Basic premise is we need to get your universe on the horn and arrange for you and our Jane to switch back. Timing is key and I'm pretty sure the two of you meeting up by mistake would equal problems."

"What kind of problems?"

"Take the grandest scale disaster you can think of and multiply it by twelve."

"You guys had a Thanos, too, huh?"

"I still can't look at grape juice without wanting to throw up."

Jane chuckled. "Neither can my world's Tony. He tried to get it banned worldwide once."

"You mean he couldn't do it either?" Stark pouted. "I guess some things aren't meant to be."

"This is all fascinating," Loki interjected, "but let's figure out a way to make contact before we discuss our preference in juice products."

"Loki is both a buzzkill and correct as always."

Stark returned to his wall, this time with Jane in tow. That was fortunate. Maybe now they could come up with something reasonable.

* * *

"Okay, round two." Tony uncapped a second pen and handed it to Jane. "Does anything I've written here make sense to you at all?"

"Not really."

"Oh good. It is you." Tony gave her a hug. "I was worried there for a second. Moving right along, how do we make contact with this other dimension. Any ideas?"

"I wish." Jane raised a hand to her head and Bucky's heart dropped until she merely tucked her hair behind her ears. "I've spent years researching and developing my bridge technology. The plan was to find other worlds within this space-time continuum. I never thought we'd find another one."

"But if it happened once," said Steve, "there must be a way to do it again."

"Of course there is," Jane said, sounding almost completely certain. "If one hole was opened between dimensions, there has to be more. If we can figure out where those holes are, we might be able to send the other me a message. How's my bridge? The damage wasn't too severe, was it?"

"Nothing we can't fix with you back in action." Tony winked. "We're getting you home and bringing our Jane back in a jiffy, aren't we?"

"Or two jiffies." Jane side-eyed Tony's wall one more time, grinding her teeth. "Maybe three. Doesn't matter. We need to find another dimensional rip and soon. If they stay open for too long, it could be bad."

"Could be or will be?" Bucky asked, going against the learned behavior to never ask a scientist questions like that.

"Let's just say we might get that universe destroying paradox even if we do nothing."

Godammit.

* * *

"It's probably not a physical tear," Jane said, rubbing her chin as she fell into deep thought. "At least, not one we can see."

"What if you stepped out of this room and ended up in Australia?" Stark sounded like he was only partly kidding. "Not that it would help us, but if we're talking greater dimensional rifts, we might need to start small."

"Perhaps the tear is tied in some way with Asgardian magic," said Thor. "Loki, did you not assist at certain stages of the building process?"

"Not with magic." He looked at Jane. "You- my Jane insisted on doing the bulk of the programming on her own."

"Yeah, that sounds about right," said Jane. "My bridge is still rooted in Aesir technology just by the nature of what it is. Someone sensitive to that kind of magic might be able to see between the two worlds."

"Perhaps," said Loki. "I have yet to experience any signs of metaphysical activity."

"Could be a proximity thing," Stark remarked.

"Good point," said Jane. "We should go back to the lab and see if you feel anything."

"There's no guarantee I can establish communication with the other side even if your theory is correct," Loki said. He swallowed a massive lump in his throat. "My other self is…"

"Dead." Jane bowed her head as if paying respects. "Yeah."

Loki filled his lungs, reminding himself they still worked, feeling the ache when he couldn't inhale anymore. "Then it is hard to say. Without another magic user, I don't know how well this will work."

"As long as we can connect to them at all, it's a start," Jane replied. "My world's Thor should be there."

"Thor has never had much skill in the delicate art of magic."

For once, Thor didn't snap back. "Are you certain you can't reach out to any other? Perhaps her Bucky Barnes?"

"I'm not certain of anything," said Loki. "Though as a human without a touch for magic, it's unlikely Mr. Barnes can grasp even the concept of what we're discussing."

"He's not stupid, you know," Jane said, glaring at Loki. "If we can figure this out, so can they, and if we can get to him or Thor or even Jacob, we would have a lead to follow."

"Wait, who's Jacob?" asked Rogers, like he'd only just joined the conversation.

Jane gave him an odd look, then shook her head. "Sorry, Jacob's my son. In my world, you're his godfather. I just-"

"Jacob?"

Everyone turned to the couch, where Christina was up and rubbing her eyes. Her shoulders bunched as Jane approached her like she was debating if she should run or leap into her arms.

"Christina," Jane said with uncertainty, "do you… know a Jacob?"

Christina stared at her fingers. "I see him in my dreams. He has brown eyes and a bear called Bucky."

The air around Jane grew thick and cold. Her skin was coated in a sheen of fresh sweat. Her fingers flexed in and out like she wanted to grab the child and shake her for more information but held it back. Loki knelt beside her and drew Christina's attention to him. He held her hands, stroking her knuckles. It put her at ease. She had nothing to fear as long as he was there.

"Christina, this is very important," he said. "Can you tell us more about Jacob?"

* * *

"Whatever you can think of, son," Bucky played with a lock of his son's hair. Jacob would never say it, but physical contact put him at ease when he was scared.

He hugged Bucky Bear tighter. "She's got long black hair and blue eyes. She has a pony doll. She really likes ponies."

"Is it purple?" Jane prompted, hanging by a fast fraying thread to her emotions. "With wings and a horn?"

Jacob nodded. "She said 'cause they're both princesses."

Jane exhaled hard. Her whole body shook with exertion and Bucky had to fight to keep his arms at his sides.

"Is that her?" he asked.

She put her head in her hands, choking back a sob. She took a few deep breaths to calm herself and nodded.

A hush had fallen over the room. Even Jacob felt it. Bucky was torn between comforting him and drying his not-wife's tears. When this was over, he'd have to thank Tony for being the only one to keep them going.

"Well," he said, twirling the marker in his hand, "I guess we've found our rip."

* * *

"So we have to use whatever mental connection the kids have to make this work," Rogers observed.

Stark laced his fingers together. "Sure seems like that, doesn't it?"

"We're pinning the success of this entire operation on a pair of three-year-olds."

"Sure seems like that, doesn't it?"

Rogers sat back down, but not even Natasha's presence could put him at ease this time.

"You severely misjudge my daughter if you think this is an obstacle we cannot overcome." Loki took the little girl in his arms, bouncing her a bit as she clung to him.

"I take it you have a plan," said Stark.

"The beginnings of one." Loki nodded at Jane, hoping it would reassure her. His Jane would always roll her eyes when he did that, knowing the kind of chaos his ideas would bring (as if that was a bad thing). This one smiled weakly. "Do you think you can reprogram the generator?"

"If it's anything like mine, should be easy," she replied. "Though I doubt she uses the same password as me."

"Don't be so sure. I sometimes think the only reason her work hasn't been stolen is Stark's firewalls."

Jane snorted. He wondered if she'd heard that before. "Okay, so when is Christina's birthday?"

* * *

"The only way this will work is if Jacob can accurately relay the information." Tony shook his head. Even someone like him who routinely collected scientifically inclined teenagers couldn't help but have doubts. "He's only three."

"He's smarter than you think," said Bucky. He let Jacob curl up in his lap, his eyes red and heavy. This whole day was doing a number on him. On all of them. "And I'd bet anything that little girl is, too."

He winked at Jane. His would've given a playful roll of her eyes and told him what a nerd he was. This one smiled like she didn't know what else to do.

"She is." Jane took a deep breath and sat up a little straighter.

Tony nodded, a hint of a smirk appearing. "Then let's get to it."

* * *

Jacob went to sleep and woke up in the dream world. It was sunny again and Christina was up in a tree with a bird on her arm. She jumped down when she saw him and hugged him around the middle.

"You made it!" She was pretty strong for a girl, not that Jacob would say that. "I was waiting for you and I thought you wouldn't come and it made me sad!"

"I had to come," Jacob said. "Your mom has a plan to switch back her and my mom."

"I know. I have it here!" Christina slammed a piece of paper into his chest. It was covered in numbers and big words he didn't know how to read yet. It looked like kind of paper Mom had in her notebooks.

"Where'd you get this?"

"Mommy gave it to me. And I brought it into my dream with magic. Daddy helped."

"Your dad is Loki?"

"Uh-huh."

"My dad said your dad was a bad guy."

"He got better. Now he's the best ever."

Jacob thought his dad was the best ever, but they could talk about it later.

"What do I do with this?" he asked. "I can't take things out of my dreams."

"It's okay, I can help." Christina held his hands. "Daddy said because we have the same mommy, that means we're brother and sister. That means we're connected. When you wake up, I can send your mommy's notes with you, and then we can make the bridge work!"

That sounded like a really smart plan, so Jacob believed Christina when she said his mom came up with it. She always had really smart plans. But he was still nervous.

"What if it doesn't work?" She was a little taller than him and he had to look up at her eyes. They were really big and bright up close.

"Of course it'll work. Don't you trust Mommy?"

That was a really dumb question. He would always trust Mom. Even if she didn't remember him or wasn't the same person. His mom was the smartest in the whole world. Everyone knew that. So maybe his question had been kind of dumb, too.

"Let's save Mom," he said, giving Christina his hand.

She shook it, then hugged him again. Her arms were really tight and she couldn't see him gagging.

Girls…

* * *

The plan was set. Jacob woke up babbling about their Jane on the other side coming up with the same plan as this Jane. Great minds think alike, as the saying went. Though, when Bucky thought about it, it was more like 'the same mind thinks alike'.

Repairs were underway and the bridge would be ready for activation in less than a day. Just a few more hours until his Jane was back in his arms. Everyone from Tony to the other Jane herself had assured him of that. It helped, but only a little. He was hyper-aware of the passage of time, and it felt like twice as long.

He took a long walk across the building to the top floor balcony. Fresh air did the mind good, or so he'd been told. A light breeze played with his hair and cooled his sweat-drenched skin. It was just past sunset, his favorite time of day. After putting Jacob to bed, he'd spend the next few hours on the roof with Jane, picking out constellations and planets. Venus was especially bright this time of year. They should be at home setting up the telescope and taking bets on who would find it first. Jane always won, even when he didn't let her.

Turns out, fresh air just made the pain worse.

He was not alone on the balcony. A shadow alerted him to the presence of a woman, small in stature and wearing a coat too large for her skinny frame. Knotted brown hair hung limply over her shoulders. Her back was to him, but Bucky would know his wife anywhere. Even as he reminded himself it wasn't really her.

"Ah-" his mouth stayed open, long after he realized he had nothing to say.

Or more accurately he had no idea what to say. How was he supposed to talk to this woman he did and didn't know so well?

Maybe he should've stayed inside.

Jane glanced over her shoulder, starting a bit at the sight of him.

"Sorry, I…" She cleared her throat. "Just wanted to come out and think for a while."

"Yeah, me too," Bucky said, slowly inching backward. "I'll just uh-"

"You can stay if you like," Jane said.

"Are you sure?"

She nodded. "I was hoping to talk to you anyway. I know this whole thing has been… well, you know…"

"Messed up," he said, leaning heavily against the railing. It creaked under his weight. "Confusing… terrifying…"

"Mind-boggling." Jane picked at one of her nails. "That's what I was thinking. I keep going over the figures in my head, trying to make sense of how it happened, but none of the algorithms I can think of fit. It's like we discovered a whole new facet of quantum mechanics. I just wish I'd written it down somewhere-"

Bucky couldn't help but smile. The biggest mess they'd ever been in, and she was still a scientist first.

She continued on for a bit while Bucky played the captive audience. Her eyes focused on him mid-sentence and she trailed off into silence, her cheeks tinged pink. "Sorry, I didn't mean to go off like that."

"No, it's fine," Bucky said. "I love it when you… I mean, when the other you, does it."

Jane bit her lip. "Does she do it a lot?"

"Every day."

"Then I guess she really is me."

They shared a laugh which died an unmourned death. Bucky's worst fear replaced it: cold, awkward silence that stretched on higher than the sky. He examined the trees down below, dark green and lush with leaves. They were mostly fir trees, so they'd never lose their luster. Once Jacob tried to climb a tree and Jane ran so fast to catch him…

He hung his head and sighed.

"You know," Jane said, bringing him back to full attention, "I never got to meet you in my world."

Bucky nodded. "Right. Because I'm…"

He couldn't say it, and neither could she. Her screams about seeing ghosts when he first visited her said it all.

"I always wished I had the chance. You're kind of a legend. Every army base in the country has a plaque with your name on it. There's even a statue in Brooklyn."

"I have a statue?"

"It just went up a year ago. Don't worry, you look good. Very handsome."

He tried to laugh or make some cocky remark. It was the kind of thing his Jane would expect because she firmly believed if anyone deserved to be full of themselves, it was him. Not that Bucky ever would be, oh no. He was too busy wondering how a rotten bastard like him ever got so lucky.

"Loki ah… he doesn't have a statue," he said. The name felt so weird. He didn't think he'd ever said it out loud before. "He does have some memorials in Norway, I think. A lot more people like him up there."

"Yeah," Jane mumbled. Her face had fallen and he wished he hadn't brought it up.

"He helped take Thanos out. We couldn't have done it without him. I can't say I was his biggest fan, but he saved the universe. Gotta respect that."

"Thank you," she whispered. Tears hit the railing as she sucked them back and put on a brave face. "It took a long time to get to where we are, me and Loki. I used to think I'd hate him forever."

"Did you punch him in your world, too?"

"Oh yeah," she smiled to herself, though her eyes remained watery. "He told me later it was how he fell in love with me, but I don't think that's true."

"It might be," said Bucky. "When we first met you yelled at me for carrying you off the battlefield, and all I could think was how beautiful you were."

That was only partly true. He had thought she was beautiful, but he'd also wanted to kiss her. A lot. He chalked it up to the intense circumstances driving his emotions through the roof. For all he knew, it could've been the last kiss he ever had. Thankfully, it wasn't, and he'd restrained himself until their first date.

 _'I bet Loki couldn't do that,'_ he thought, not sure how it made him look in comparison.

"I don't know how it happened," she continued, "we'd had such a hard time learning to work together and get along with each other. Then one day, I realized it wasn't hard anymore. It was so easy, I wanted to do it for the rest of my life."

"Love's like that sometimes," Bucky said.

"Was it for you?"

Bucky rolled his shoulders. It was getting dark and the cold was seeping into his arm. "Sort of. I knew how I felt for a while before we got together. Every time I tried to make a move, I thought 'would she really want someone like me?'"

"Of course she would," Jane said, brushing his fingers. "I know I'm not really her, and it's not the same, but I can see why she fell for you."

Her face against the setting sun was like a work of art. It was the cheesiest thing in the world, but Jane never failed to give him cheesy thoughts.

"We'll fix this," she said, raising their joined hands as if making a pact. "I promise."

"I know," Bucky said.

As they were called back inside, Bucky took one last look at the horizon. Perhaps his Jane was having a conversation just like this with Loki, somewhere across the universe.

* * *

Tony was at the controls, a fact which would never sit well with any version of Jane. That was her bridge that she put her blood, sweat, and tears into building from the bottom up. Nobody should ever get to turn it on except her. She kept glancing at him, making sure he was doing everything right. Bucky had to gently prod her to the center of the room.

"Almost over," he said, rubbing her shoulders.

"If we can get this right." Her eyes widened as her own words hit her. "We _will_ get this right."

"Course we will," Bucky replied, "because you ran the numbers and you're never wrong."

"Exactly."

A small crowd of spectators waited from a short but safe distance away. Jane's team of scientists, some of whom had cameras ready. Steve, tall and serious, the shield on his back just in case. Thor, barely holding it together. Bucky tried not to look at them. Fear, anxiety, doubt, they were the last things he needed right now. Or worse, fake encouragement.

"T-minus two minutes, guys," Tony shouted as FRIDAY announced all systems go. "You ready, Jane?"

"As I'll ever be."

"That's the spirit."

Tony switched the power on. The light on top of the bridge turned yellow for 'warming up'. It was a safety feature Jane had legally been obligated to include, though she would've preferred something a little less like a traffic light. The air thickened. It literally felt like a pillow had been pressed against Bucky's back, and no matter where he went, the sensation followed.

Sparks of light flashed in the center of the frame. The lights dimmed.

 _'It's going to be okay,'_ he told himself, holding Jane as the ground began to shake. _'It has to be.'_

* * *

"Thirty seconds guys."

Jane grabbed Loki's arm. It was the first time she'd touched him since their talk on the balcony. Her hands were like his Jane's hands, but not quite. There were subtle differences in no one else would've noticed. They didn't know her well enough. Perhaps Mr. Barnes saw it, too.

"Are you ready?" Stark had asked before, but it bore repeating. Not just for her sake.

"I have to be," she said. The seconds ticked by far too slowly. It would work. It had to work. "Look, before I go… I'm sorry about the slapping thing. I never got to say that in my world and just… I don't know. Maybe you didn't deserve it."

"No I did," Loki replied, smiling at the memory, "but I didn't lie when I said I liked you. You truly are extraordinary. Barnes is a lucky man."

Jane eyed the gold band on his finger. The runes etched in the metal spelled her name. She wouldn't know that, but from the look in her eye, he could almost think she did. "And she's a lucky woman."

She squeezed his hand as the countdown crept passed ten. Electricity surged. The lights brightened to blinding white and died. Thor had to stop Rogers from running forward. The Captain was barely containing himself as it was, and now the wall behind the bridge was cracking open.

Loki held her tight as the winds picked up. Papers and pieces of equipment not strapped down formed a cyclone. Putting up a shield took barely a thought, and that was fortunate because all Loki could see was the woman in his arms and the hole slowly forming in the deep black void. It cracked and fizzled, coming in and out of view. Someone was speaking, but their voice came from a place he couldn't understand.

"This is it!" Stark shouted.

The counter hit zero.

* * *

"I see something."

Jane had much better eyes than Bucky because he could barely keep his open. Wind whipped his hair in his face. He should've tied it back. The bridge shook as the portal grew wider. He thought it wasn't working when he could still see the wall at the other end on the lab, but it came to him like a shock to the gut that he might not be looking at the same lab.

"This is it!" Tony shouted.

The counter hit zero.

"Get ready to run," Bucky whispered in Jane's ear. "Tony, I swear to God, if this goes wrong-"

* * *

"-you will pay for Jane's life with your head!"

"Someone's in a violent mood," Stark quipped. He ducked a passing desk chair. "It's going to work. Otherwise, we wouldn't be doing it."

"He's right," Jane whispered, squeezing his hand one more time. "We've made it this far. We can do this."

Loki barely heard her as the air split in two. A roar shattered his eardrums like the space-time continuum was crying out in agony. Two cosmic disruptions in one day could not be safe. Some had taken off running at the first sign of a reaction. Others hid behind whatever large objects were secured to the floor. Even Thor had trouble staying on his feet.

"Okay guys, now or never," Stark shouted. "Jane, it was nice knowing you. Tell the other me I said hi."

"I will," Jane hollered back. She cast a final glance at Loki. "Thank you. For everything."

He nodded. If he spoke, he might let out something foolish. Something only his Jane should hear. He held her solid form a moment longer. Then he let go.

She ran.

* * *

Across time and space, two women ran.

Air didn't exist here, so they held their breath. The ground they stepped on wasn't a ground at all, but something formless like jelly. One wrong move meant falling into the abyss, but they didn't think about that. They shut the scientists in them off and focused on their families.

Their eyes were closed. They knew better than to look.

When they met in the middle, they nearly touched. For the two men on opposite sides of the void, this moment was captured eternally like a photograph and buried deep within their minds.

Echoing voices filtered from both sides. They were impossible to make out, even for Loki. He could hear the ones behind him perfectly, much as he wished they'd shut up.

"Captain Rogers, you can't interfere."

"I'm not going to."

"Please stay back-"

"I just want to look at him, all right? Just let me see him once!"

At the other end was Thor, a different Thor. Loki's Thor was somewhere else. This one didn't hide his tears as he stared at Loki, who smiled back at him, the only comfort he could offer.

The computer spat out random numbers at lightning pace. None of them meant anything. The system was shorting, the portal wavering. Shrinking.

"Jane," Loki whispered. One disappeared while another drew closer. He reached for her. She reached back. "Please…"

Their hands touched and he pulled with all his strength. She didn't come easy. The void tried to keep her and he might have left bruises jerking her free of the suction-like force. It let go. They hit the floor. She clung to him, panting and crying amid uproarious cheering.

Loki tried not to hear it. He stared into the portal as it closed. The other Jane had made it through. She was wrapped securely in the arms of a man Loki felt like he knew. It didn't matter that they'd never spoken. Would never speak. The way he held her, his powerful stance, his clear blue eyes which met Loki's in those precious few seconds… there were few who could see into the depths of Loki's soul like this.

For Barnes, it must be the same.

Loki nodded, and Barnes nodded back.

The portal sucked itself into nothing and took the winds with it. The air stilled, pages raining down on their heads. He looked into Jane's eyes, seeing nothing but relief, residual fear that something would go wrong, and most importantly, recognition.

"Loki," she gasped, her trembling arms wrapping around him with shocking strength.

He would've kissed her right then and there for Stark and Thor and whoever else to see. Only the crack of a door stopped him. It didn't come from out in the hall, but the safe room in the corner. Natasha assessed the area first, paying careful attention to the Jane in Loki's arms. She stepped out with Christina, the little girl clinging to her for dear life.

"Mommy?" She hid her face behind Natasha's leg, in case she was wrong.

Jane smiled through her tears. "Hi, baby. I missed you."

Christina's eyes came alive like Loki hadn't seen since before the accident. She ran squealing into Jane's arms and nearly took her head off, her feet dangling in the air as Jane held her. Loki embraced them both together, his larger frame hiding his family from prying eyes.

Natasha backed away to give them space. Her eyes were misty, and it could've been for them or for Rogers, who was struggling to hold himself in check as he stared after the vanished portal.

"He looked good," he rasped, swallowing a hard lump. "He looked real good."

"I bet he did," Natasha said.

Loki heard no more, not from them or anyone else. At some point, he must have transported them out of the lab. They were in a room with a bed where they could fall asleep together and not worry about whatever fallout was to come. Christina was nestled between her parents, who stared silently into each other's eyes as darkness overtook them.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: And here is the (very sappy) end.**

 **Hope you enjoyed!**

* * *

ONE WEEK LATER

"Christina? Are you ready for bed?"

Jane tapped on the door, which opened with no prompting. Christina was on the floor surrounded by a mess of squiggly crayon drawings. They flew into the corner with a wave of her hand and she scowled.

"They were supposed to be neat." She crossed her arms and pouted. "They're never neat."

"You'll get it right someday." Jane picked the little girl up and carried her to bed. "You're still learning, and you get better all the time."

Loki followed the sound of Jane's voice and waited outside the bedroom. His little girl glanced at him, but as with the last few days, her attention was firmly on her mother, making sure she didn't disappear again to parts unknown. Last night was the first time she slept without nightmares. The trauma wasn't gone, but it was a start.

As she settled down, there was one more drawing clamped tightly in her hands. Loki saw it right away, but Jane didn't notice until she had the covers over her legs.

"What's that, sweetie?"

Christina hesitated, then released her grip one finger at a time. The page was wrinkled and paint stained. Jane held it to the light and Loki took in the mirrored image of his daughter's stick figure self playing games with a smaller stick boy. They both wore large smiles and the sun shined overhead.

"It's Jacob," Christina said, a hint of gloom in her voice. "I don't see him anymore in my dreams. I think he's gone away."

Whatever feelings the picture stirred within Jane, Loki couldn't say. Her face was impenetrable. He'd only ever seen her look like this a few times, but for once, he would ask no questions.

"I'm sorry, baby," she said, patting her head. "You must miss him a lot."

Christina nodded. "He was my friend."

"And he always will be, so don't forget that," Jane smiled and kissed her forehead. "Don't ever forget you have a little brother out there, and he'll never forget you."

Jane looked at Loki, and he nodded back. They shared so much with just their eyes, whole conversations no one else was privy to. He beheld this woman embracing his child and knew she was the one he belonged to, just as much as she belonged to him, if not more.

And that was the greatest satisfaction he had ever known.

"Mommy," Christina yawned. "Can you sing the song?"

Jane sighed. She never liked trying to sing. Only for Christina would she do it, and only for Loki if he promised never to tell.

"Okay, but then it's time for bed." Jane took a breath and starting soft, slow, making every note count. "Beautiful dreamer, wake unto me. Starlight and dewdrops are waiting for thee..."

* * *

"Gone are the cares of life's busy throng, beautiful dreamer, awake unto thee."

Jacob was asleep on the second line, but Jane kept going. She always finished the song for him, and Bucky would never dare stop her. He waited by the door, arms crossed and itching to hold her.

He mouthed the final line with her.

"Beautiful dreamer, awake unto thee."

She kissed the top of Jacob's head and left him to a peaceful slumber. His colorful drawing of him and Christina throwing a ball around floated to the floor as he changed positions. Jane placed it carefully on the nightstand and backed away. She took Bucky's hand without looking. They were so in-sync he couldn't believe it sometimes. That was how he knew they were meant for each other.

"I love you," he whispered in her ear.

"I love you, too."

They left the door open a crack, just the way Jacob liked it, and returned to their room for a well-deserved rest.

THE END


End file.
